As I’m getting closer to the end of Summer Term, and definitely to the deadline of my dissertation’s submission, I feel like another worry start to catch me. Now I wonder where would I be in the next couple of months? Would I go back home and find a dream job? Would I stay here with casual job spending my visa time while thinking about the next step to do? Would I start building my own business and serve the community?
It’s funny that after all this time, somehow I have no clear clue about what’s going on next. These days I feel like I’m going back to the time of 3 years ago, when I was waiting for bachelor graduation, wandering around the library and writing a blog post like this. It’s pathetically funny that I haven’t moved forward from those younger days.
During my time of working in Surabaya, I found that the routines killed my brain. After 2 years drowning in a company business, I knew I had to do something with my life, re-fill it so it won’t be wasted away as a corporate robot. I decided to apply for scholarship, fulfilled my old dream of studying abroad, in the hope of re-fuel my mind and my soul. At that time, one of our clients from France questioned my decision to quit the job. He said that I was very brave to leave the good job position for the sake of going back to study.
In fact, now I feel the fear. 
Recently I’ve applied some casual job positions to fulfil several gap months until graduation. When I started re-writing my CV, I just realised that I’m getting old. I’m no more a fresh graduate with unlimited opportunity. Probably I won’t be considered as a priority for the role of Management Trainee in reputable companies. And I’ll be 25 by the end of this year. Somehow this reality strikes me. Almost 25 and soon to be unemployed (well unless I find a job before graduation).
I probably took a Master degree in the hope of escaping corporate life for a while, but now I know that inevitably I will have to go back. Income is the main concern. Now that I’ve used to get regular income for the past 3 years and the lifestyle followed, I feel a bit fear of going back to undergraduate life when I had to struggle between freelance jobs and maintain lower lifestyle. Besides, my family does have a high expectation of me. As the eldest of four daughters, I knew the burden is on my shoulder.
The jungle is there, yet to be explored. While many of my friends have settled down; getting married and having kids, I’m still in the middle of adventure. I’m partly worried–yet partly challenged.
Oh, and I’m going to write more about job market in UK. Check it out here.
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